there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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