It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
