He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
wanna go halves on a baby?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That was an excessively violent trivia night
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
