Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
