return my video game
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just invented taco cereal.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
