remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
