his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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