some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize