My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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