i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
