i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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