I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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