You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
