the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
