stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize