I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
