i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize