My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
