i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
