Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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