If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize