you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
