This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
