we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
COCAINE IS GR8
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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