I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
