You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
