Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
