so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
