I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
