billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
