I wish i was in the wii world.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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