Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
