she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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