i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
