dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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