someone threw a dead crab at me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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