finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
