It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
