I like my sex mixed with concussions.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
