scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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