garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
