I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
