I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
