What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize