elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
