I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize