I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
