my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
