actually, I'm a sock model
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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