a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
