There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Drake has all the answers
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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