The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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