it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
