I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
