so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
