I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
