suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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