Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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