I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
