He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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