Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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