I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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