In the future we'll all be gay
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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